Once upon a midnight dreary, While I drove home weak and weary, O'er back roads dark and leery, From that joint on 44.
	I noticed headlights in the distance, Weaving towards me with insistence, I could offer no resistance, As down on me they surely bore.
	Careening headlong and erratic, Like some ghoulish speed fanatic, As suddenly I heard a static, Grow into a deafening roar.
	There before me darkly looming, Was a shiny gas - consuming, Arctic Wildlife Refuge dooming, Smelly gas exhaust perfuming, Dreadful, souless music booming, An S.U.V. came gloom, gloom, glooming, Vroom, vroom, vroom and zoom, zoom, zooming, As through the black of night he tore.
	And in this megalith of steel, No hands upon the steering wheel, Indulging in a fast food meal, Was someone that I'd seen before
	The man was fumbling with the mirror, A cell phone plastered to his ear, Instructing his wife to get some beer, And pork rinds at the grocery store, Only those and nothing more.